""I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.""
- Groucho Marx
March 4, 2025
""I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.""
- Unknown
March 4, 2025
""If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.""
- Earl Wilson
March 3, 2025
""All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.""
- Charles M. Schulz
March 3, 2025
""I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.""
- Groucho Marx
March 3, 2025
""I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.""
- Lily Tomlin
March 3, 2025
""I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.""
- Woody Allen
March 3, 2025
""If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.""
- Billy Wilder
March 3, 2025
""You can't have everything. Where would you put it?""
- Steven Wright
March 3, 2025
""If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.""
- Earl Wilson
March 3, 2025
""The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.""
- Robert Harling
March 3, 2025
""All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.""
- Charles M. Schulz
March 3, 2025
""I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.""
- Woody Allen
March 3, 2025
""I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.""
- Groucho Marx
March 2, 2025
""Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.""
- Jim Carrey
March 2, 2025
""The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.""
- Robert Harling
March 2, 2025
""I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.""
- Lily Tomlin
March 2, 2025
""I can resist everything except temptation.""
- Oscar Wilde
March 2, 2025
""Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.""
- Jim Carrey
March 2, 2025
""My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.""
- Mitch Hedberg
March 2, 2025
""If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.""
- Billy Wilder
March 1, 2025
""If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.""
- Earl Wilson
March 1, 2025
""I never put off till tomorrow what I can possibly do the day after.""
- Oscar Wilde
March 1, 2025
""People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.""
- A.A. Milne
March 1, 2025
""I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.""
- Winston Churchill
March 1, 2025
""Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.""
- Benjamin Franklin
March 1, 2025
""I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.""
- Lily Tomlin
March 1, 2025
""I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.""
- Groucho Marx
February 28, 2025
""Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.""
- Luis Bunuel
February 28, 2025
""Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.""
- Jim Carrey
February 28, 2025
""If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.""
- Earl Wilson
February 28, 2025
""I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.""
- Unknown
February 27, 2025
""A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.""
- Mark Twain
February 27, 2025
""I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.""
- Groucho Marx
February 27, 2025